100 PLUS

"I think that when we look for love courageously, it reveals itself, and we wind up attracting even more love. If one person really wants us, everyone does. But if we're alone, we become even more alone. Life is strange.”

- A Paolo Coehlo Quote 

When I started my Blog, my only desire was to write because I love to.  Maybe I should have listened more to my heart because this is probably part of my life's journey and writing just happens to be in the path.

I am most grateful to my Followers, now that I have reached over 100 plus.  I thought in the beginning if I could get at least 20 people to read what I write, I will be dancing up and down with joy.  I actually did when I got 20 followers, then around 40, I felt so stoked.  Today I get to more than 100 and that to me is much more than worth a dance.

My heart and my soul thank you all for joining me in this Blog journey.

I hope you don't mind but I would like to call you friends.

And if by any chance our paths would cross sometime, like they always do, I hope we smile.  Cheers!

"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."  ~Epictetus

Learning to Dance In The Rain

"Life's not about waiting for the storms to pass...

It's about learning to dance in the rain."

~Vivian Greene

“Every person has the power to make others happy.

Some do it simply by entering a room --

others by leaving the room.

Some individuals leave trails of gloom;

others, trails of joy.

Some leave trails of hate and bitterness;

others, trails of love and harmony.

Some leave trails of cynicism and pessimism;

others trails of faith and optimism.

Some leave trails of criticism and resignation;

others trails of gratitude and hope.

What kind of trails do you leave?”

- William Arthur Ward 

So the Rapture was an un-event.  21 May 2011 happened and we're back to being the people that we are.  Some have become faithful, others prayer-ful, whilst the rest of mankind stayed "as they were."

When it happens and it will, I bet it will come like a thief in the night.  Probably worst than my Zombie Massacre nightmare.  How we will all cope with it? Hell do I know?

I just know that at the moment I am feeling grateful for all that I have and don't have, and all that I am and I am not.

For I truly believe in what Buddha said a pretty long time ago:

"Peace comes from within.  Do not seek it without."

The entire frenzy has brought me back to the fundamental teachings and by some unfortunate circumstances, I always tend to forget. (damn shame on me!)  For whatever it's worth, I have become a little more watchful.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

And at the moment, I live, I breathe, I think, I feel and I am learning to dance in the rain!  

Enjoying every moment of it.

The 100/0 Principle

What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others?

It's The 100/0 Principle: You take full responsibility (the 100) for the relationship, expecting nothing (the 0) in return.

Okay don't give me that look that says, "are you for real?".  This Post is just an excerpt from a Book with the same title authored by AL RITTER. A Book On Improving Relationships: 100/0 Principle

And it is, by no means so much easier to read, than to do. Implementing The 100/0 Principle is not natural for most of us. It takes real commitment to the relationship and a good dose of self-discipline to think, act and give 100 percent.

The insight from this excerpt however helps us identify what relationships really matter to us in this lifetime.  The 100/0 Principle applies to those people in your life where the relationships are too important to react automatically or judgementally.  Keep an open mind.  That's not even easy for some, but I trust all of you can and I love to be proven right.

Now here are some simple Steps that you may follow but remember, since this requires a lot of selflessness and discipline, I don't think this should apply to everyone you meet.

STEP 1 - Determine what you can do to make the relationship work...then do it. (Okay, I can do that.) Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not. (Are you serious?  Okay okay I'll try my best ... geesh, and that's just Step1)

STEP 2 - Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada. (Whut? Nothing?  zilch? good grief ...)

STEP 3 - Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don't take the bait. ( I will definitely stress eat ...)

STEP 4 - Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don't respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.  (I am a work in progress in terms of Patience.  I feel like I'm going to lose this one)

At times (usually few), the relationship can remain challenging, even toxic, despite your 100 percent commitment and self-discipline. When this occurs, you need to avoid being the "Knower" and shift to being the "Learner." 

Try to avoid Knower statements/ thoughts like "that won't work," "I'm right, you are wrong," "I know it and you don't," "I'll teach you," "that's just the way it is," "I need to tell you what I know," etc.

Instead practice the use of Learner statements/thoughts like "Let me find out what is going on and try to understand the situation," "I could be wrong," "I wonder if there is anything of value here," "I wonder if..." etc. In other words, as a Learner, be curious!

I always believed this whole thing about relationships is complicated.  There is just no simple way or steps to make things right, not when two people are concerned.  Even twins who have grown from the same cell can become and behave like North and South Korea, what are the chances we will screw up our relationships with strangers we choose to love and care for?  Or with children we have brought into this world?

We could go on trying to find the perfect formula and algorithm of how to keep a relationship strong.  We can fall flat on our faces cursing ourselves for things we should have said and things we should have not.  Or even the things we could have done, but didn't.  

Any which way you slice and dice it, I seriously think relationship is all about being 100% giving and Zero receiving.  At some point, through forces of nature, and the principles of paradox, the other party will reflect back the giving and the equation balances out to a perfect 100/100 ratio.  If I will be asked where I scale against the 100/0 ratio principle, I will be too embarrassed to admit that my ratio is skewed somewhere.  Taking full responsibility in a relationship is like a mother to her unborn child.  You give everything you can for nine full months and not take anything back.  At the point of childbirth, every mother will give up her own life to make sure her baby lives. For some, the whole process of childbearing, is either traumatic, ridiculous to go through again or never.  And if the 100/0 Principle closely approximates that experience, how many people are willing to give it a shot? Yet still, how many people do you know are wishing that they have a perfect relationship; or believe that they have one; or are looking everywhere to build one?

I never claimed to have answers.  I always have a lot of questions.

Butterfly Award

I would like to say upfront, this is a NO OBLIGATIONS award.
But I got this affirmation from Marie and it would be a bloody shame if I would not acknowledge it and publicly express my gratitude. 
Marie's Blog is here. Colour of Our Skin
If you still have not subscribed to Follow Her, you are missing a lot, IMHO.
Thank you Marie.  There is no substitute for being publicly recognized for something that you love to do.  Besides, I truly love Butterflies for what it is known for, metaphorically.
Something About Me:
Whilst I am in the business of understanding people, sometimes I think I fail miserably in avoiding the trap of wearing my heart on my sleeves.  I am too transparent.  I am unable to successfully, at all times, keep my emotions in check.  Even if I do try to look unaffected, my eyes and facial expressions are a tell-all.  So in the middle of some heavy disclosure, I work really, really hard at keeping myself from tearing up.  I am such a cry-baby.  My father's army teaching on this never really worked.  Well not with me.  He says "tears" are waste of energy.  I rationalize by saying, tears clean my eyes.
I would like to give a shout-out to all other Butterflies out there, with the hope they will find this recognition as meaningful as I did.
My Butterfly Award List:

Andrea Healing Journey

Jamie It's a Gay's Life

Just Me Just My Stories

LifeLyrics28 Life, Love and the Pusrusit of ...

Stephanie Pandora

TwoBeansOrNotTwoBeans French Bean

I always read these Blogs.  They are of different types.  But they are all too human and all caring writers.  Simple thoughts and words.  Nothing fanciful or over the top.  Just great individuals and writing their thoughts down in different ways.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.  I consider finding their Blogs one of life's little blessings.

I wish you peace and love, in all your days.

THE DASH - What Matters Most

My dear friends,
Do you have three (3) minutes?  I am hoping you will make time.
I have chanced upon this Story a few years back, but I received the same message again on email.  I thought it is rather fitting to share this with you and for all the other Mothers who will get a chance to read my Blog.  As a dedication to My Mom and all the other Mommas of the world.
The video is called the DASH.  The symbol that comes between a person's Date of Birth and the person's Final Day in this lifetime.
Please watch.  And if you are watching it for the first time, I know the simplicity of the message is going to touch you.

Osama Bin Laden - Siege in Abbotabad Lahore Pakistan

From the Man Who Can't Be Moved.
From a Virtual Unknown to Virtual Famous.


He live-twitted the assault and he unknowingly became part of a global historic moment.
I'm sorry to do this to you, but you are freakin' damn famous and hilarious!*

Swatter Twitter  Twitter Link.

 Sohaib Athar@ReallyVirtual*

Sometimes you can be at the right place, at the right time, doing the right things, albeit, you have no clue what you are there for. Just maybe sometimes, you can be made Man of the Hour.  WTF?