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Saturday, July 23, 2011

The Seven Kinds of Sex - Survey Said

Now that I have this latest fascination with Surveys, I found out based on a recent survey, that there are actually Seven (7) Kinds of Sex:


The first kind is called the "SMURF SEX."  
This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.


The 2nd kind of sex is called the "KITCHEN SEX."
This is when you have been with your partner for a relatively short time, you are so needy that you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.


The 3rd kind of sex is called the "BEDROOM SEX."
This is when you have been with your partner for some time, your sex has gone to become a little bit routine, and you usually have sex only in the bedroom.


The 4th kind of sex is called the "HALLWAY SEX."
This is when you have been with you partner for too long.  You pass each other on the hallway, and you both say "Screw You!"


The 5th kind of Sex is called "RELIGIOUS SEX."
Which means you get NUN in the morning, NUN in the afternoon, and NUN at night.  (Very popular)


The 6th kind of Sex is called the "COURTROOM SEX."
This is when you cannot stand each other anymore, your spouse/partner decides to take you to court and screws you in front of everyone.


And lastly, the 7th kind of Sex is called the "SOCIAL SECURITY SEX."
You get a little each month, but not enough to enjoy yourself.


Please do not comment to tell me what stage you are in. I have enough problems of my own.
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13 comments:

  1. rivercatJuly 23, 2011 at 4:10 AM

    I like the idea of about once a week agoing all the way after you know someone but If you love somebody who doesnt like sex for awhile thats fine. Sex is interesting. It seems that its true about what you write. It tends to die down often and you hear a lot of married people saying they dont have sex anymore. Its hard to believe but I suppose it is true. That desire for sex seems to come on strong sometimes and it is hard to coordinate it let alone understanding it. All in all though its a good thing to investigate together when you like someone. Although it comes naturally, there does seem to be a kind of learning to it as far as the other sex, and a lot of that is communication and experience. Having one night stands gets boring too so all you can say is that it ends up being about loving yourself with someone. You dont have to know somebody to enjoy sex, but it seems a lot more interesting when you do.I think when you love someone sex is magical. Another great post :)

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  2. AnonymousJuly 23, 2011 at 9:53 AM

    Someday I will know everything (:

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  3. dirtycowgirlJuly 23, 2011 at 10:11 AM

    Hahaha

    I think at one time or another I've had all of those, apart from courtroom sex, managed to avoid that one.

    Might have to look into that, being as I've always said I like to try everything once.

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  4. Miss BoboJuly 23, 2011 at 11:04 AM

    wow, this really made me laugh out loud. kudos on the post. My favorite is hallway sex

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  5. jamiessmilesJuly 23, 2011 at 2:53 PM

    Abso-smurfing-lutely.

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  6. UnknownJuly 24, 2011 at 11:36 AM

    lol! i've gotten as far as you can go with all these ... didn't get the monthly though ... got one chunk as the last hurrah

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  7. The Book of DrachmaJuly 24, 2011 at 1:36 PM

    And then there's:
    Scheduled sex, in which case, I'll have my people call your people, and then maybe we'll have sex.
    And also, Sex in a bottle, in which, for a handsome fee, paid to your grinning pharmacist, you may have scheduled sex.

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  8. TrickieJuly 25, 2011 at 1:43 AM

    Maybe it's time to try something out to move back to Smurf Sex?

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  9. AnonymousJuly 25, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    Looking at it, there are definitely some I will be happy to avoid in the future. But still in some bliss now so might look at the post in 25 years!!
    Had great laugh reading it! You did good!

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  10. Psycho Babbling BasherJuly 27, 2011 at 3:35 AM

    Hi River, but Love belongs to a totally different dimension, especially when you have sex with love.
    Alex, take your time. It's a little over-rated, believe me.
    DCG, such class to avoid Courtroom Sex. Good on yah!
    Miss Bobo, you just have to love hallway sex. It rocks!
    Jamie sweetie, you're still blue in the face. =)
    Big A, nice going then ...=)
    Drachma, "Scheduled" sex? Either you're under Doctor's advise or you treat sex in a highly professional level.
    Trickie, I trust your creativity on that one.
    Marie, nah ... you're too happy and loved. keep at it!
    Thanks for the laughs guys. ♥

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  11. Miss BoboJuly 28, 2011 at 12:18 PM

    :D your are a being of light :D

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  12. Psycho Babbling BasherJuly 29, 2011 at 12:19 PM

    @Miss Bobo: Take the insight with you. It'll help. ;)

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  13. Kate WAugust 30, 2011 at 10:30 AM

    Interesting survey and interesting comments. Trickie (and anyone else that cares to listen) Ever considered swinging? I've been married for over 20 yrs and have been swinging for 18 months (with my husband I hasten to add) Our sex life was great before but boy is it explosive now! Smurf sex re-established.
    http://myeroticjourney.blogspot.com

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