I Love Being a Woman

6 February 2011

The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?”

SIGMUND FREUD, Ernest Jones' Sigmund Freud: Life and Work

This week has been narrowed down to one word: DONE.

I can not help but feel smug about how we can, and I can, as a woman, deal with all the apparent insurmountable diversity, and come out of it a bit sweaty but otherwise just blowing my bangs off my face.

One of our greatest God-given talents as women, second to the gift of giving birth to another life, is our capability to multi-task.  We can finalize an agenda to a meeting talking on the mobile phone, while driving the car and re-touching our mascara, among other things;  don't you just love it?  Can you tell me another creature that walks the earth (okay, let's keep the discussion to Planet Earth as some of you wise guys will bring the galactic alien crap into this)  who can do all this with efficiency?  

I did not even count the fact that whilst all of this is going on, a menu plan for dinner has already been concocted in my head!

To be able to do all of these is not amazing.  It's regular.  I have seen women who go through hell and back, badly scarred and bruised, but hell, they slug their way back and how!  It is ironic how this strength and courage has been given to what the world fondly calls as the "weaker" sex.

When I think about the challenges any average woman like myself is faced with, we do a balancing act on a diverse range of roles -  a Mom, a professional/executive, a wife, a friend, a cook, a laundrywoman, a party planner or event organizer, a hostess, a bartender, baker, surrogate mother to other kids, an average tutor, accountant, financial analyst, a counselor, gardener, lover, a bodyguard even, a driver .... I can practically go on and on and I am positive I missed out on a lot.  But we take these all in, and deliver these roles with only a passion women can relate and understand.  We can even take them all  simultaneously without losing a single beat!  Doesn't that make you proud?


I gloat with the fact that we do have a couple of aces tucked up in our sleeves that men will never understand about women, and since I know they wouldn't bother with my post, dare I expose some of them:

First, the ultimate of all female weapons ever known to MAN, as in the opposite sex, TEARS.  Not sobs, please,  That is such a put on.  Just slow, quiet, deliberate trickles of tears coming down on your face whenever you are about to lose an argument, feel dejected and not get what you want, or you simply want to get away with something criminal.  


Tears, yeah, works all the time if you know how to use it sparingly.
Minor caveat, using it very often has a downside, it loses its potency.  So trust your gut to tell you when you must let a small tear slowly fall down on one cheek.

Second, the "helpless, dumb bitch" act.  Admit it, we do this when we need help, feeling a tad lazy,  or we just want to end a pathetic argument with a man..  We pretend to be such a sweet and helpless damsel in distress.  I still see a lot of these tricks being pulled and funny how it is still selling, mind you.  


An added skill to this is that high-pitchy and quivering voice we put on.  We can get men to haul ass if they need to with this act.  Surely a blue-ribbon taker!


Third (and last, otherwise the entire women-dom will have my ass for exposing these trade secrets), when all appeal to the emotions fail, we use the law of lines and curves.  Contrary to popular opinion, women are good in geometry and figures.  What's a little skin or cleavage when you are desperate? 

Well, whilst these things are mighty compelling tricks for the male species, if you try this on a straight heterosexual female, you'll likely end up with a cigarette heel stuck on your forehead! These tricks will never work with us, we invented them, tested them, and proven their power and effect.  It's a house rule.


Being a woman has its ups and downsides.  Doesn't really bother me much.  I am confident with my limitations because I am a woman and I am not apologetic about it.  I am strong where and when it matters to my family and friends.  I survived and finished off a major life challenge in the last month with much pain, but barely scarred.  I am proud of my kids.  And a bit of what they are is because of me.  I am proud of where I am in my life and I know I can still reach my peak.  I can dream.  I have faith.  And I have great hopes.  I am loved.  No one can take those away from me.  


But  of course, like in any other specie, there are mutations.  But that's really a subject of a separate post.   I am just happy being a woman.


This post is for a beautiful person, my lovely daughter.  And I would love to share with you a song we always sing to get out of our blues.  Indulge me.

A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be a friend.

And if we ever leave a legacy it's that we loved each other well.
~Indigo Girls