Today I can confidently say that I am intestinal flu virus-free! I have been battling with this annoying illness for a week now until my anti-bodies have finally mustered enough strength and stamina to kick asses.
So I decided to wobble back to start doing something a little more productive than ...uhm...err.. continually detoxifying myself, then I had an epiphany of some sort. There are a couple of things that make me sick much more than a bacteria or a lowly virus that can crawl its way into my molecular structure.
Now how do I start with this sickening list?
First off in my "makes me absolutely sick" list is hypocrisy. Some people just can't handle the taking so they do the giving. So if I can't stand hypocrites, does it make me one? The world has evolved in such a way that to be completely honest with your thoughts and feelings make you an ass, a bigot or a racist. This game of "pretend" in terms of acceptance and tolerance is just making me puke.
Stupidity, to include, but not exclusive to the Press and Social Media. There are people who just really push my limits in terms of patience and understanding. I don't know if this "age of technology" has truly made a lot of people totally inane or perhaps the landscape that encourages limited, if not, absence of human and tactile interaction makes the grey matter dull. Maybe it's just me, but coming out of this stupor, I have awakened to seeing the population of stupid to be growing exponentially everywhere!
But seriously now, what really make me sick to my core?
I was given this Blog link to browse and whilst most of our humanity's history has reinforced my belief about the inherent evil in men, there are just some events that are severely disturbing that to hear about famous film directors jumping to death or laid off employees summarily executing their bosses pale in comparison to the evil in our forefathers that brought forth our generation to this century.
I am not from Canada, and I needed to back check the veracity of the sources as it spoke about the Canadian Holocaust. The worst crime and hypocrisy imaginable is using fear of eternal damnation and religion for power and greed. These historical archives are painful reminders of what we are capable of doing and how dark our souls can be. I can't blame the heretics, after all, at the end of the day, it is all a matter of your own faith.
Truth is, where we are and where we have been, to stand grey in a field of black make one glisten with goodness. Fundamentally there is not much of a choice.
Watching an injustice is the same as committing the injustice itself. But do we still have a moral ground? Can justice stand against the powers of money and politics and personal interests? Can we achieve a sense of vindication free-loading with the freedom fighters? Or do we have so much more pressing matters at the moment to care for such huge and daunting causes? Some people struggle making it to their front door everyday, so who cares what happens to the greater good?
I will always argue about having a choice. A choice to do good, to make a stand, to call a spade a spade, to speak the truth in the face of adversary and to accept failure with a sense of dignity. So the most atrocious thing that can make me sick, is when someone says, "I do/did not have a choice."
I was recently speaking to a young lady, (22 years old), married for 3 years and is pregnant on her second child; who has been physically and emotionally abused by her husband through their married life. She tells me she can't leave the husband or report the abuses because she does not have a choice. She has bled three times during her current pregnancy and has been warned repeatedly by her attending physician that further stress and distress can be fatal to both herself and her child. But still she argues, she does not have a choice. I could have chosen to shoot her myself to end the misery altogether but better judgment and fear of eternal damnation prevailed.
Today I am flu virus-free but it is nothing compared to the wealth of sickening madness also known as the lesser humanity everywhere. Whatever dark virus it is that has been handed down to us by our heritage is nothing compared to the alphanumeric man-made viruses we scamper about to find an antidote. If we choose not to find a cure for our souls then we're all damned, for good.
I was driving one day around the neighbourhood. When something glittery caught my eye. Down the block it seems we have new folks moving in. The couple must be somewhere in their mid-60's or something like that and they were both busy cleaning up the landscape and putting up bold gold letters onto their fence that spelled... D E S I D E R A T A!
You have to be kidding me! A true-blue quarter storm, age of Aquarius couple? They must have decided it is their life statement, I mean, to have it plastered on your front lawn for everyone to see and take notice!
I seldom do a double-take (particularly when I am behind the wheel) but the visual I saw immediately transported me back to the memory of my Literature class where I remember being forced to read the poem again and again; cull the best insights from each line by this Professor whom we believed to must have been Hitler's wife in her past life!
Well of course the words just echoed in my hollow head, with hardly any meaning. I would love to discuss it now, yeah, bring it! Today, I know what the message is. What it has always been.
Back then, it was torture to hear her screech at every attempt at a profound insight from me or my classmates. We were pretty lame to say the least. Honestly, at 14, "placid" was not even in my vocabulary of significant words to live by.
Unless aided by what we currently call today as 'medicinal herbs', how would you expect average teenage girls who are barely starting to manage with hormones without breaking out into massive acne attacks, to relate with such esoteric, moving lines, such as:
At my best then, I just knew that the word itself must be LATIN. Literally translated, it means, "desirable things". Desirable? How could chocolates and men not be included? Or just plain vanilla and chocolates? It was just way beyond my comprehension.
Couple of years later, when I chanced upon this prose poetry by Max Ehrmann, the words begun to breathe. And this time, I didn't need an Eva Braun to scream in my face to think and delve deeply into my soul for a meaning. I gave the words their meaning and somewhere along the way I realized I must have grown up.
I have no doubt that whilst DESIDERATA was, once upon a time, a mantra, a philosophy or a devotion (that time when people believed in making love and not war; that life is about taking things in stride and making time to smell the roses; each individual is intrinsically good; heroism and magnanimity is commonplace, respect and humility is a norm, and that the world is a happy place to be born in); today, this very moment, the memory of my Literature class has become more real and more apt. The words in the poem have lost their capacity to move people's hearts and our souls cringe at the possibility of being touched by it. Such tragedy. I would hate to admit this to "Eva" but when I saw the word proudly displayed on that wall, I just had to read it again.
Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
And I made a mental note to myself, perhaps one of these days, it will be nice to meet up with the new neighbours. I underscored the note with "listen" for they must be wise in their years, just as boldly as they declared their Life's philosophy.
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