Friday, October 28, 2011

My Personal Thanks to Bambi!

When my Father died, it wasn't very easy to explain to my little girl why there were so many people weeping and why my mother seemed to be catatonic and inconsolable. I didn't exactly understand how some people can have an endless wave of tears when they have a loss, not until then. When your soul grieves, like mine did, the wave of pain came in succession, albeit intermittently, but each with increasing to eventually decreasing intensity.

Why am I talking about this? I have realized that one of the most difficult things to explain and illustrate to a young child is the meaning of death. Well amongst other things. The beginning of life and where they come from is another challenge altogether. 

I have not taken to the habit of underestimating a child's capacity to understand nor do I discount children's intelligence. I have met a lot of kids with far greater intelligence than their parents. I bet you have to agree with me on that one.

However when it comes to your own children, explaining "death" does not come easy. And this is where I attribute my appreciation to Disney's BAMBI.

Bambi with Thumper and Flower

Well if you will recall the plot of this film, it is not unlike the usual staid formula of any Disney movie. The meaning of friendship, love, ever after and all that jazz. But unlike other Disney movie I have come across myself as a child, Bambi's plot struck me with a certain amount of sadness and melancholy. Growing up, I was unable to discern exactly why. As a grown up, I realized the power of the message the old buck said to the young deer, "your mother can't be with you anymore".

So when my little girl asked me what was going on as she watched me sink lower into depths of grief and agony, I did not have enough strength nor coherence to explain the "loss" I felt, and the thin line that connected my logic to my brain told me to rummage through the old DVDs and watch the movie BAMBI with her. 

Just as my own experience taught me, her tears welled up exactly on the scene where Bambi desperately sought her mother who had already been killed by MAN. And just as conclusively, one of the most unforgettable lines in my entire Disney movie watching history, the father explained the mother's absence to the young fawn.

Right in the middle of our tears as we watched BAMBI, I told my child, my father can't be with us anymore, for he has passed.

Sometimes we ran out of words to express how deeply and intensely we feel about certain situations in our life, I personally feel I owe a lot to this old and simple movie having helped me explain my life's greatest pain.

On this day, El Dia de los Muertos, I write this post in memory of my life's first love and whose love for me have always made me feel like a Princess. I miss you Papa, not a day goes by that I am not missing you.


  1. I can't help but feel that you'll see him again, somehow, somewhere. I don't mean clouds, angels, harps, and all the other stuff that at least I grew up with.
    I mean, there's something after.

  2. So personal and so deep. A lovely message to share. Thank you x

  3. PB, thanks so very much for sharing such a personal experience, It brought tears to my eyes.

  4. grieving. oh sweety ... there are some souls who just never leave our sides ... i have a few of my own xoxo

  5. ---So beautiful & moving...

    I think I shall mourn my sister "Forever."


  6. I haven't had to have that discussion with my children yet, thank God, but I will keep this post in mind when that time comes.
    It was tenderly written and bittersweet to read.

  7. @Al: yeah I know what you mean. I share the same thought.
    @Kate: thanks you stopping by, and yes, this is a very intimate post.
    @Lily: I always knew you are a marshmallow deep within. :) Still love you woman!
    @Andrea: thank you for the love, I know you know exactly how it feels.
    @Kim: I understand. Feel the same way.
    @Flip: I can only hope this type of conversation with your kids don't have to be soon. Thanks.

  8. Such a beautiful post. I teared up. What a simple, sweet way to learn about life, and pass that to your daughter. I think it's beautiful, and exactly the kind of thing I expect to do with my children.


  9. What a beautiful way to help a young child understand someone's passing.

  10. Petite, your post was very meaningful, and expressive of things that are very hard to put into words. At times it helps to have something like a movie to share with loved ones, when words don't come.
    A very thoughtful post - thanks.

  11. Some times in Life words can't explain how we feel or have the power to make us feel worse - And some times a story we have heard can help us explain the situation to younger ones. I loved Bambi and I recall this scene - It was very thoughtful of you to explain it to her this way.


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