Sunday, January 22, 2012

Twenty Three BASIC TRUTHS

AUTHOR'S NOTE:


This POST has been authored by someone else and was passed on to me by a very good friend. Frankly I have no idea who I need to acknowledge to give credit for such a hilarious piece, but honestly, it is too tempting to pass on, it's criminal to keep it stale on my Inbox. If you chance upon this post Mr./Ms. Author, give me a holler, it's a great list!


Meanwhile back at the ranch, go ahead, have a little chuckle.




1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 


2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers; I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds - 
eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

I don't know about you people, but #23 just takes the cake for me.



19 comments:

  1. Number 19: 3 times. (for me at least)

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  2. #20 is awesome. I love it when that happens.
    And I laughed at #23... but felt guilty while doing so. I loved this list, ha.

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  3. 2 and 23 haha. Thanks for sharing this it is so funny and true. Except for #2 that one does suck...

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  4. I love It!! Thanks for sharing, they all talk to me - I laughed so much reading each one.
    *12, definitely, it changes quicker than the time you need to finish your collection & after you have to start again....quite upsetting!!!
    *22, so true............experience it every day.

    Hope you are keeping well and good to read you again!

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  5. I have no idea who first penned this list, but it is too true. Kudos to them.

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  6. thanks for posting this. loved it... @ # 21: 17 weeks. Junior year in high school. I won. Gross

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  7. There was some funny ones in there.

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  8. I love #23!! It gave me a good laugh! Thanks for the list.

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  9. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

    YES! FabuLOUS. Xxx

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  10. #5 - I try to fold it, but just end up wadding it up and throwing it in the closet.
    #10 - I've got a million of them.
    #11 - I just hit that moment. :)
    I'm totally guilty of #14.
    #19 - I agree with Lily - 3 times.
    #23 - That's about right...
    Thanks for the laugh!

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  11. these were awesome! thank you for the smiles.

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  12. I'm glad you guys had a smile and a chuckle.
    cheers y'all!

    Lily - For #19 - I stop at 2 times.

    Ash - you should see part of that teaming up with other cars to knock out the road bully!

    Alex - yeah, #2 just sucks and leave you with angst and humiliation, right at the same time.

    Cayman - lovely to laugh at over some shots of Jack eh?

    Ramakant - can you imagine this feeling 3 times a week?

    Thanks Tim, I can imagine you with a wide grin on your face.

    Marie - so true, #22 is a timeless classic

    Jamie - might take a lifetime sweety; very hard to tell really.

    Good gawd V - seriously? Man, you rocked it!

    Flip - yeah, thanks for loining in.

    Seemeye - #23 goes to my collectibles.

    Kim - I can imagine you and I using that sarcasm font every single time! :) love yah!

    Kevin - I have always admired your honesty and candour. I am not surprised you spawned a beautiful and spontaneous daughter, Sammi!

    Kiki - missed yah. Keep chuckling.

    Andrea - thank you love, always nice to see your face break into a smile!

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  13. Bahahahaha!! Yes! I am so thankful I am not the only one who wishes Google had an "avoid ghetto" map routing option!

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  14. No 19 happened to me at McDonalds, ended up with something additional i hadn't quite asked for.

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  15. Nice list, Cursive was definitely NOT necessary.

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