Sanity Check Link

Just because I can do it, I did.

Link to my other Blog: Sanity Check

Cheers!

2014 ... H.O.P.E.

Well, well, well, it has been three years since I took this therapeutic road of the Blog world. Not unlike most people I have met across the universe (copyright Lennon-McCartney) that took to writing, writing helps.

The few that have decided to keep on would have found out by now that given enough time, a working computer, a functional internet, a more intelligent approach rather than taking snapshots of food that you will eat or the shoes you will wear; the Blog world is a community of people who took to writing for widely diverse reasons. There are a lot of real talents with equal amount of honest to goodness crap. And I have come across all types. Not that I am complaining. It's rather amusing and I prefer to learn from both. Oh and did I mention that I have had the privilege of meeting real writers (as in book authors, fiction and non-fiction) from the Blog-verse and sheer geniuses in comedy writing? I am awed.

Since we have clocked in to a new year, there are a few things that I realized are compelling enough reasons to move me to post, again.

First off, if you are not stricken with a terminal illness and your Doctor has not given you a few weeks to rule the world, then you are not dying. BUT, the world is. It's cruel to have to choose which comes first. However, the odds are freaking me out.

Niagara Ice Falls

From what I have gathered, the options are rather few. You can choose to die of hypothermia (like right now, the cliche' hell freezes over has come true); get drowned, even swallowed by a storm surge # Haiyan; have a picnic and then caught in an overwhelming forest fire; have a fun time with friends trekking the mountains, then suddenly the world decides to shake and tremble under your feet you get buried alive at the earth's core wrapped ironically with your safety gear.

Second, because we are generations post-Roman civilization, we completely embraced the concept of law and order. We have a government. Or do we? Don't get me started on this. One word: useless.

DAFUQ

Okay, so nature does not get you and you are smart enough to evade (or delude yourself) the idiocy of government leaders, but guess what? Look around you, no, not in the far distance, look nearby. A neighbour, a friend, a blood-kin, a stranger or all of the above, can just snap and lose it. What would you do if you are taken hostage by a completely deranged or even drug-induced individual who can't take Scenario 1 and 2 anymore? Depressed and hallucinating, he or she takes you to represent the sum of all his greatest fears and frustrations.

And because life can really be tough, you can get shot at whilst trying to get an education or watching a movie; or you can choose to hang yourself in your flat because the world is not cruel but people are; or because you are worry-stricken of what may cause your death, you die of ischemic heart disease.

You could have just been on your way home from work, or buying bread from your nearby Deli, or sipping coffee in that corner Cafe' reading over a good book. You could have been doing anything but you happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, but all that is irrelevant if shit happens, right?

What to do?

Don't get me wrong. I am not a proponent of paranoia. It does not help to think that all these scenarios are stupid if you have the luck of sliding in your shower and breaking your neck. that's beside the point. It just is, reality. It is almost downright comical that nothing seems to work: not nature, the world, government or the people around you.

And that my dear padawans, lead me to my thesis. Hold On, Pain Ends. H.O.P.E. There will always be better days. Not everyday but as frequently as you choose them to be. Live a day at a time and be thankful you survived 24 hours, unscathed, well possibly battle-scarred, but still alive. It does not take much to breathe in 86,400 seconds a day, if you are not counting. 

There's not much we can do about stopping nature from fighting back, guess why they called her MOTHER? Yeah, payback is a bitch. But we can take steps to try to prevent her from overdrive menopause if we are really serious and have the political will to sustain it. 

Government. We have the luxury of choosing our leaders. When I say WE, I meant all. Morons included. News flash: how many morons do you need to elect idiots to government? If there's a Bill on establishing an I.Q. and E.Q. prior to the right to vote, I will be on the lobby by dawn.

As a function of my anal military breeding, I have been taught to "scan" or in my Dad's jargon, "reconnoiter" (whatever that shit is) but it basically means, passively observe surroundings, people and possible threats. You may ask, threats to what? To anything. To my simple mind, it only means being a little cautious and perceptive. It's the 21st century, nothing should surprise you. Nothing. Or do we have to debate on this?

At the end of the day, it's simple. Nobody gets out of this life alive. Whilst you're at it, might as well have a great, safe and hopeful time. 

"When the sun goes down, the stars come out."

Like I said before, and I say it time and again, the darkest hour comes just right before dawn. Have a wonderful 2014 peeps!

Psst! Thanks to Agnes and Despicable Me.

New Chapters, Second Chances

Once in a while, rare and far between, some individuals are given a second shot.

A very, very dear friend of mine, will soon be a couple of air miles away from home. An entirely new experience for her. It is a bitter-sweet feeling for me. It is sweet in the sense that I know this is something she has to do, must do, now. Bitter in the sense, that however happy you are of events that happen to kindred spirits, they will always be missed by your soul. But like I always said, there are no goodbyes among friends. It should always be, "See you when I see you."

There is no doubt that amongst us all, we have friends who are the perennial rolling stones. However, there will almost always be the one friend who opts and prefers to stay grounded in the comforts of home.  For some people it is a preference. For some others, it is the best choice under certain circumstances. When the unlikely opportunity arises to live your life the way you always wanted it to be, certain that looking back is only an option for cowards, and moving on to a totally different world that is absolutely risky and terrifying, armed only with a leap of faith, I probably would still say, "jump!" Perhaps because some wise dude once said, the best second shot is when you have the moment to craft not a new beginning, but a new ending. Maybe not a perfect ending, but the right one.

If there is anyone at all who deserves and earned the right to make your ending right, my dear "evil twin sister", you do.

I promised my friend I would Blog some more. And that I would write a series dedicated for people who are either victims or still trying to survive the evil in the hearts of men in Corporations, and I will do that. Except that at the moment, my muse has inspired me to devote this post for her. And when my words are not enough, I rely on the tried and tested quoting a Quote some wiser guy had already concocted.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I have decided to attach this link to a historical post I made  likely a century ago in dog years:  21st Century Rules in the Workplace

The Link, true to form, is a complete disconnect to Second Chances. But who knows, you might just be inspired to look for your own.  It is part of my promise to talk about Survival Tips in the world of Plutonomy.

Failure: It's An Option

I find it particularly interesting and amusing that there are abundant sources of literature on the subject of How To Be Successful, Quickly and even on Averting Failures and Risks. However, there is very little that is written up on how to deal with being unsuccessful, being risk-prone and what to do when you've failed? I suspect it is one particular taboo subject alongside sex and nudity. Or better, one of the most dreaded words in the English language.

We have practically been brought up in a landscape where success, defined in terms of fame, fortune and fans; should be everyone's lifetime goal. The unnecessary stress this brings upon every individual is proven by the unarguable success of pharmaceutical companies making happy pills and the number of very affluent shrinks/therapists as well as cosmetic surgeons.


Something is terribly wrong here.


Growing up in a family where academic achievements defined your future, I chose to be the maverick. I refuse to follow my family's definition of success, much to the pain and chagrin of my parents. Whilst my big brother raked in the honours, I chose to be the apple of the Discipline's Office, The Detention Centre and the Guidance Counsellor. Nope, there was nothing clinically wrong with me, I just refused to be outstanding. However, I was exemplary in matters where Citations were given but they were completely of a different nature. 


I realized that because of this trait, I have become fearless about "failing". You see here, the fear of failure tend to reduce your capacity to stretch and dare yourself. When you're afraid of failing, you're scared to dream; you tend to be catatonic and immobile, fretting over other people's opinions and feelings, instead of yours. You end up feeling comfortable with mediocrity, for as long as it is simple, safe and comfortable enough.

Life is too short to be fearful of failing. Didn't someone say before, "it is not how many times you fall that counts, it is how quickly you can rise up again?" or something like that.


I think the simplest way to live with this is to accept realistically, that Failure, is always an option. This does not mean that you are not going to be giving your challenges your best shot, or that you have reduced your competitiveness. For me it simply means, that there is a possibility that I can fail, so I plan ahead to avoid it. If I still fail nonetheless, I move on. I just know for a fact that whatever you try to do and however you try your damn best to do it, sometimes, things just don't work out. I will not beat myself up for my failures. Shit happens, to the best of us. If shit hasn't happened to you, you'll probably be in for a major enema. Damn, that's going to be tougher!


Failure does not define who you are. The world and its men can call you such, but believe me, it is not your identity.

Just dream on, be reckless, try on new things, do things that will make other people stop and think that you are actually, certifiably insane! Love with all you've got, don't hold back. It can probably cost you a lot, but who cares? Fail everyday! Embrace your frailty and move on. Live a little. Look at the "true" heroes and icons of the world, Vincent Van Gogh for instance, at some point people believed them to be deranged. They could be, but so what?


I follow Buddha's dictum: "The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows." So I choose to tread on and risk, failing and falling, but each time, rising with greater enthusiasm than before. So to life, mankind and the world, bring it on!

Twenty Three BASIC TRUTHS

AUTHOR'S NOTE:


This POST has been authored by someone else and was passed on to me by a very good friend. Frankly I have no idea who I need to acknowledge to give credit for such a hilarious piece, but honestly, it is too tempting to pass on, it's criminal to keep it stale on my Inbox. If you chance upon this post Mr./Ms. Author, give me a holler, it's a great list!


Meanwhile back at the ranch, go ahead, have a little chuckle.

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers; I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds - eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

I don't know about you people, but #23 just takes the cake for me.

Having a Bad Day/s?

I was told by my wise grandfather that there are no bad days or there is no such thing as bad weather. He said, it's all a matter of how you make of it. 


I had no idea what he meant then, since that conversation took place when I was around 6 years old and I had deficient selective attention. (Fine, the conversation could have happened yesterday and I'd have the same lousy excuse.)


As I was saying, all I took away from those words was a lame attempt of my granddad to make me smile because every time it rained, there was no way I could be swinging from the trees and running around in the small puddles. Not a lot of the kids in their neighbourhood were allowed to run and soak under the rain. Since there were no playmates, I sulked looking out the window, wishing the sun would come out and make it a better day.

In the present day.


Have you ever been jolted out from your sleep with the thought that you may have hit your alarm clock way too many times that you could have missed it? Then you realize, holy guacamole!, it's not a thought or a dream state, you did manage to wreck your clock by whacking it and you are an hour late! You jump out of bed way too fast you stub your toe on your bedside table. Who freakin' thought of putting a bedside table anyway? You limp across the room and run into the bath. Still blinded by sleep and a parked brain, you step on your cat and get a glorious good morning scratch on your shin. And it's the same foot with the throbbing toe! Just crap! 


Fortunately, you manage a bath and brushing your teeth without further injuries and you tread on, still in haste. You grab the hair dryer for a quick fix of your 'do then something snaps, crackles and pops! The dryer explodes right in your hands! What the? You used the 110 dryer out and plugged this into a 220 volt socket. Curses! So you grab a hair clasp and up your hair goes. You hope the people in the meeting would ignore the water dripping from your hair onto your coat's collar. You plan to smile broadly all the time as a decoy.


You ran downstairs, grab a cup of coffee and take a gulp. Double crap! It's scalding hot and you burned 8,000 of roughly 10,000 taste buds.  Worst of all, you spilled coffee on your white shirt and there's no time to rummage soda water in the ref as you need to hit the road. You grab your coat, and will have to move around with a closed jacket to cover the stain spots. Unfortunately, even with all the buttons of the coat closed, the stain peeks out and it's obviously a brown coffee stain. You plan to con the people who may ask to buy into the excuse that you're breastfeeding your baby with cappuccino. But wait, you don't even have a baby!


You remain bullish and undaunted by all these signs, you move on. You grab your shoes, wear it, a sudden pain remind you that your toe is now swollen. You grab another pair, an open-toe one. You give it one look - the right toe is way bigger than the other peeping toe ... but what the hell? 

You get to your car and just when you have almost hit the highway, you scream as you realize you left your laptop back home, where your entire meeting presentation is stored. And because you are stubborn and downright competitive, you didn't want anyone else to have an advance copy of your sheets, you decided not to send an email to have the files (at least) be in the Office server.  You start to tear up and worry about smearing your mascara then you remember, you hardly have any make up on. 


You grab your mobile phone to call the Office to tell them that you may be running late and find that there is only one bar left on your mobile phone battery. You call a colleague but the number can't be reached. You try the Office land line and pray someone picks up the phone; hopefully those jerks are not busy horsing around or having breakfast or tea in the pantry. Somebody answers!  Yes, your luck just turned better. You are screeching in the middle of a hysterical, panic attack and the person on the other line tells you to calm down; the meeting has been reset to a later date, since one of the key decision makers had to fly urgently out of town. In both excitement and annoyance, you accidentally slam on the brakes, the bigger idiot behind you whams into your car! Just as you stepped out of your car, it rains.

I was told by my wise grandfather that there are no bad days or there is no such thing as bad weather. He said, it's all a matter of how you make of it.


Surely not all of my days are as eventful as this one, of course, it's not a bad hair day either. It's just a series of things happening to me and could be happening to someone else, and I consider them to be just that... things going wrong. And if I have ever learned one thing in how I make it out of a day like this, things can really go from bad to worst, but I believe there are better days. 


I simply just let it go for the day! 

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

THE MORE THINGS CHANGE …

… the more they stay the same.

I was told this is an old French saying but I find it rather apt to declare it quite a universal tenet. Besides DEATH and TAXES, there are certainly a lot more things around us which I reckon would never change. These things may have been with mankind since the Beginning and will probably remain with humanity till the dawn of the Zombie Apocalypse.

For instance:

1.       RACISM

You can argue with me relentlessly about this, but I believe that for as long as our vocabulary and intellect can define discrimination, segregation, bigotry; amongst a few I can think of, there will always be class differentiation as a function of diverse beliefs, lifestyle preferences, religions, colour that naturally breed hatred, intolerance and the conception of superiority of one over the other.

Painful truth but nonetheless if we have learned anything at all, we should know that whilst we can hope for changes, racism will always be here, or there, or everywhere.

2.       WAR AND CONFLICT

Go ahead, pretend to be as wishful (or perhaps tritely, as beautiful) as any of the beauty pageant candidates and dream of World Peace. I hate to burst your bubble, but seriously? The fact is, once there are opposing beliefs, between states and nations, protection or preservation of rights and territory; aggressive competition and downright hostility, (even between two individuals or parties); then we will always be in an open season for war and conflict. We have gone to war for the most stupid reasons, and yet we are. There will never be any winners in a state of war either, albeit human nature loves to win.  At war, there will always be casualties and collateral damages, nobody wins. Period.

Autonomy, freedom, independence and survival – we go to war for reasons that are noble, and we justify our losses for the nobility of the cause, not the insanity of the process.

3.       GEOGRAPHY

I did not invent nor discover it.  I grew up leaning that there will always be the quadrants that divide the earth into polarities. These days I could talk to a friend in France and chat with someone in a Casino in Vegas virtually; share a joke with a friend in Sydney and debate the concept of BPD with a colleague in London. Our globe has shrunk into a small gadget, through fingertip access enabling interaction and communication via the advancement of technology; however, there is no arguing that we will never be able to really close the gap in the “physical distance” sense.

I can’t imagine how to work around the fact that if I wanted to have a more direct, face-to-face and physical interaction with my friends from the different parts of the internet universe, I still have to buy myself an airline ticket to get where they are.  Whilst geography remains a constant, it makes a lot of sense why war and conflict and racism will likewise remain constants.

4.       THE MOST ICONIC 4-LETTER WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

(Note: for the extra-sensitive readers, if you haven't guessed at this point, this is my Editorial Post.  So if you tend to squirm about certain words, I suggest you stop reading from this point.  Thank you.)

Undefined, debatable and used loosely across scenarios and boundaries of time and space: F-U-C-K.  This word can be used as a noun, a verb, a word intensifier, a descriptive expression, an adverb, an adjective, you name it. We have various reasons for using the word but I fearlessly predict, “fuck” will stay in our vocabulary till kingdom come. 

I have yet to come across another 4-letter word (besides LOVE of course) that has been used in so many different ways and stands alone in a class for its unique versatility. This word has grown tremendously over the last two centuries I don’t believe there is any stopping its momentum.

• We have used it in one whole sentence whose meaning liberates itself from definition: Fuck those fucking fuckers.

• As a descriptive word for a contemptible person: That guy is a total fuck.

• As an expression of disbelief and surprise:  Good grief that is so fucked!

• As a verb to initiate action: Just fuck off! or Go fuck yourself!

• As a word alternative: I don’t give a fuck.

• Or just plain and simple, not profanely but the literal meaning of the word:  “copulation” – They fucked in the car.

Somehow, the vulgar nature of the word has lost its eminence as it is broadly used as part of several iconic songs of this generation and in various musical genres, not limited to gangsta rap and rock. (Trust me, this word is totally overrated but will live on and on.)

5.       CHANGE ITSELF AND THE FEAR OF CHANGE

Humanity’s greatest test, the capacity to change, runs parallel with the attendant nature of mankind - fear of preserving the status quo given the unknown outcomes; risks aversion; and the terrifying threat to one’s current well-being. I quote from the one of the world's most brilliant minds, (the fact that he was a jerk is not the issue here) -

Winston Churchill quotes

Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.

The Legend of the Sleepy Hallow's Eve

Uhmmm ... not really, I have no intentions to talk about Ichabod Crane and his investigative assignment. That stuff is for your English Literature class. I am just making a countdown to one of the most celebrated events throughout the world adapted from the mystical Celts, Hallow's Eve! (more popularly known as Halloween).

In other countries, this is aptly called the "Dia de los Muertos" or the Day of the Dead. Fancy that. Full 24 hours just for the dead.

If I am roughly right, it is a Pagan ritual. I know it is Celtic but the Irish would have their own claim to fame for this tradition. It signifies the end of summer, or so I was told; "Samhain" in Gaelic signifies the end of harvest. It's probably the oldest holiday and one of the most popularly celebrated. I reckon people celebrate it without even thinking of paganism or anything nearly occult. Perhaps some do, hmmm ...

I personally don't understand the feverish hoopla and excitement that surrounds the preparation for celebrating a surreal and tragic cause such as the people who have passed and gone to another dimension. Nor the dizziness of having to choose the creepiest "look" to fit the occasion.

Have you ever stopped and wondered what is the story behind good ol' Jack? (Not Daniels because I can devote an entire series of posts for that one);  Jack O Lantern. Yup,  the dude in the Irish folklore who conned the devil? Well you better read up before you slay another squash! Boo!

My take is that we love to celebrate this holiday to remind ourselves that we are still alive. How else do you logically explain the festivities, food binges and booze? The costumes are mainly donned to create a theatrical effect of miming the most dreadfully spooky evil spirits and elements our imaginations can create.

Then there's Trick or Treat. 

Why do kids these days actually believe they deserve the treats without doing a Trick? You have to be ready to do a triple cartwheel or perform your infamous fire-eating trick before I even give you a chocolate bar! Just because you are dressed up like Snow White with the 7 fugly Dwarfs does not make you entitled to any treat! I want to see Snow White eat the apple without using her hands. Yeah, seriously. It's not about costumes and make up. It's about "living out" the Zombie Apocalypse in my doorstep. And how dare these little creatures call me a cheapskate when I swing my chainsaw at them asking for a Trick. "Come on my little Georgie ... thrill me!"

Honestly I find the whole concept more like a successful marketing campaign. Half wit kids will goad their parents to buy them the most fashionable and trendy Halloween look. Of course, the pushover parents will spend their hard earned dollars to pay for costumes that are priced too exorbitantly for a one-off use. Absolutely ridiculous! The amount of investment is not justified by the rate of return. I dare say, Halloween is one of Capitalism's finest moments.

Imagine, you spend on costumes and treats, some families even prepare a Halloween dinner buffet with flowing drinks for silly house guests in masks, for one whole freaky day in a year that is absolutely insignificant to you, unless of course, you're a ghoul, a vampire or an undead. Now, if you happen to live in a farm and you celebrate the end of harvest season, then it makes sense if you slay a pumpkin and a turkey. But in the city? Don't you think you have just been gypped? Darn, I just think the whole Halloween Holiday is foolish, irreverent and downright absurd!

End of editorial.

I truly prefer my Halloween celebration sticking to the basics. A masquerade. A totally acceptable excuse to live out for just one day an "image" I probably wouldn't be caught in on any other ordinary day. Last year I was Pennywise, but I managed to spook even myself.

This year I am thinking of coming in as a chilling Zorro! The Antonio Banderas' Zorro, not the Zeta Jones type. I could try to get my Palomino brought into the city, except that it could be a little overboard, you think? I reckon it would be a riot to come in with the full gear; mask, hat, sword, a whip and of course, riding a horse! Damn! I could feel myself turning into a masked bandido right this moment. 

Really, if you can't beat 'em at being the creepiest fool then I may as well be the most sinister looking and intimidating character! Happy Halloween y'all!

Veni. Vidi. Latri. (I came. I saw. I rant.)

Whilst I prefer to argue that as an individual, I have an extremely high tolerance for quirks, deviations, atrocities including what would normally be considered, criminal; certainly I do have my own share of totally 'bad hair' moments.
There are just days that you wake up from a horrifying nightmare that you are surrounded by evil, sinister creatures that are about to get you, then realise, in your actual waking hours, that there ARE evil, sinister creatures about to get you!

Much has been written about families, but amongst these, here is my favourite quote from someone who ironically chose to remain nameless:

"Families are like fudge - mostly sweet, with a few nuts."

Or said another way, "You can pick your friends.  You can pick your nose.  But you can't pick your family and your friend's nose."


Now that's awfully displaced, but like I said, the nuts in the bloodline are given albeit some are acquired by affinity. However I try my best to ignore their very existence, there are just times they crawl under my skin!


I have my fair share of the hypochondriacs in the family. 
Geesh, enough already! If you're really dying because of all the complicated diseases that semi-paralysed you, can't you just be sick quietly and gracefully? I enjoy spicing my meals with Red Wine but not with graphic descriptions of what the freakin' endoscopy found in your gut! I don't understand why every family 'get-to' needs to be ruined by the latest "lump" you found in your armpits!

I hate to mention them on this post because they love being talked about. This creepy family member is so self-absorbed they incessantly babble about their "own realities" that no body really cares about. What really gets me, are the 1-2 other family members who actually pretend to listen to your stupid stories. They don't really care, you know, and they are bored out of their wits but chose to listen to you than watch the DVD re-run in the Family Room and too damn lazy to help out in the kitchen. You are NOT the centre of the universe! Not yesterday nor today or ever!

Oh did you know that the most primitive of all defence mechanisms is denial? 
If you don't have the gall to admit to your own family you had something fixed, why have it fixed?
C'mon, admit it! You had botox injections! How else do you explain those displaced bulges and your sudden incapability to show expressions such as fear, joy, sadness, amongst others? Why do you have a permanent 'overwhelmed' look? Or is that a smile or a grimace? Okay if nobody else will tell you, I will. One word my dear Aunt, FAIL!

And to that breed of young humans sitting in the corner chewing a blade to get some attention, Yes you, I am talking to you. Why do you see anybody else in the shadows behind you? Snap out of it or I will shoot you myself! And get a haircut.

I have a couple of good reasons why I often shun family reunions. I do have a wonderful family I love. But it's a shameful dishonesty to say I love them all. Except they are just there. Sometimes funny. Other times, interesting. Often, just a nightmare.

"THE MAN WHO CAN'T BE MOVED" - A Tribute to Steve Jobs

Unwanted at birth, unfazed by life and undaunted in death. 

Steve Jobs, 1955-2011. 

I want to make a tribute post to this man, who made the "dash" between his birth and death absolutely significant by making a global difference impacting our lives in this generation.

Much has been said and attributed to 'the man' who gave the world

and

but if any of you failed to read up on his Commencement Speech at Stanford University, 12 June 2005, here is the link and I seriously recommend you check it out.

"You've Got To Find What You Love"

I am saddened by the passing of this creative genius of a man, but he has given the world more than we asked for and he has suffered enough pain, physically, we should really allow him a long vacation. His life story is inspiring to say the least. Wherever you are Mr. Jobs, I trust we will know about it digitally. "Shalom." 

Today is an iSad day.
"Stay hungry. Stay foolish." - S.Jobs, 2005

Introducing: INTERNET PERSONALITY DISORDERS

I reckon it's about time we hold the bull by the horns.  Given the power and influence of technology, the Internet has become a whole new dimension of humanity's reality. 
Having said that, it was only a matter of time that this "environment" and landscape predisposed Personality Disorders that require careful study and understanding.
I have decided to blaze the trail in this field and my own virtual experiences has given me a fairly good grasp of disorders only known to the Internet mankind. 


Now let us take a careful look at a few that I have encountered and painstakingly analysed:


NUMBER 1: THE INTERNET NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER


Causes:

• Too much Internet time, so little friends; no "real"friends 
• Too much angst, lack of or absence of "real life"; 
• The 3 C's (Constantly, Consistently Constipated)
• Who actually cares?

Symptoms:

• Too much Blog whoring
• Reacts to criticism with rage, shame and humiliation (all emotional rants said in one sentence; for some others, a whole Blog Post)
• Excessive feelings of importance (manages multiple Blogs via multiple hosts; one of which is likely a Blog about him/herself with huge photos of self and About Me videos,; multiple accounts in Facebook, Twitter, tumblr, flickr, the whole nine yards)
• Needs constant attention and admiration (begs for Comments and Followers, or just "begs")
• Believes empathy is a matter of speech deflection or a "regional accent"
• Argues with self; loses argument with self, denies losing the argument

NUMBER 2: THE INTERNET SOCIOPATH PERSONALITY DISORDER


Causes:

• Possibly genetic
• Possibly too much caffeine or alcohol or nicotine or all of the above
• Likely had an abused and unhappy childhood (grew up on Elm Street with Freddy K.)
• Lost a pet in early life, became a proponent of animal cruelty to cope
• Most likely a Taxidermist in real life
• Watched Drew Barrymore's "Firestarter" re-runs more than a dozen times

Symptoms:

• Witty, charming, articulate and exceptional at virtual flattery
• An outstanding "Manipulator"
• Lies about self; Steals others ideas and language even; Fights with anyone who may suspect they are guilty of the first two, often, if not always
• May frequently be angry and arrogant over nothing, including the choice of the best Jelly Beans in the world

NUMBER 3: THE INTERNET HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDER

Causes:

• Likely to occur more frequently with women users of the Internet albeit the men are no exception
• Can be attributed to early childhood trauma; i.e., constant rejection in the School's Speech and Drama Club
• Sexual frustration

Symptoms:

• Sounds perfectly normal and naturally sensual virtually (could likely be butt ugly in real life)
• Often too dramatic and emotional (ordinarily ends sentences with multiple exclamation points!!!!)
• Is a regular blame-putter; blames everything if anything goes wrong, including the Google server
• May appear pretty shallow, but in reality, IS actually very shallow
• Constantly asks for approval, love and acceptance in any form, any language, and in any way
• AKA the Internet Drama Queen or King or Elvis

NUMBER 4: THE INTERNET SCHIZOTYPAL PERSONALITY DISORDER

Causes:

• Unknown

Symptoms:

• Odd beliefs, odd behavior, odd "speak", just plain, ODD
• Completely preoccupied with CONSPIRACY THEORIES
• Collects all Stephen Spielberg and George Lucas' Alien and Sci-Fi movies and/or books
• Feels genuinely upset they are unable to form and sustain Internet-personal relationships
• May likely have been "abducted" by "them" from out "there"

So far, these are the types I have evaluated.  I would post more as I am still deep into researching and "probing" the few others I have seen.

Just remember, it could be you I am talking about. Mwahahahahaha (evil sinister laughter)