Failure: It's An Option

I find it particularly interesting and amusing that there are abundant sources of literature on the subject of How To Be Successful, Quickly and even on Averting Failures and Risks. However, there is very little that is written up on how to deal with being unsuccessful, being risk-prone and what to do when you've failed? I suspect it is one particular taboo subject alongside sex and nudity. Or better, one of the most dreaded words in the English language.

We have practically been brought up in a landscape where success, defined in terms of fame, fortune and fans; should be everyone's lifetime goal. The unnecessary stress this brings upon every individual is proven by the unarguable success of pharmaceutical companies making happy pills and the number of very affluent shrinks/therapists as well as cosmetic surgeons.


Something is terribly wrong here.


Growing up in a family where academic achievements defined your future, I chose to be the maverick. I refuse to follow my family's definition of success, much to the pain and chagrin of my parents. Whilst my big brother raked in the honours, I chose to be the apple of the Discipline's Office, The Detention Centre and the Guidance Counsellor. Nope, there was nothing clinically wrong with me, I just refused to be outstanding. However, I was exemplary in matters where Citations were given but they were completely of a different nature. 


I realized that because of this trait, I have become fearless about "failing". You see here, the fear of failure tend to reduce your capacity to stretch and dare yourself. When you're afraid of failing, you're scared to dream; you tend to be catatonic and immobile, fretting over other people's opinions and feelings, instead of yours. You end up feeling comfortable with mediocrity, for as long as it is simple, safe and comfortable enough.

Life is too short to be fearful of failing. Didn't someone say before, "it is not how many times you fall that counts, it is how quickly you can rise up again?" or something like that.


I think the simplest way to live with this is to accept realistically, that Failure, is always an option. This does not mean that you are not going to be giving your challenges your best shot, or that you have reduced your competitiveness. For me it simply means, that there is a possibility that I can fail, so I plan ahead to avoid it. If I still fail nonetheless, I move on. I just know for a fact that whatever you try to do and however you try your damn best to do it, sometimes, things just don't work out. I will not beat myself up for my failures. Shit happens, to the best of us. If shit hasn't happened to you, you'll probably be in for a major enema. Damn, that's going to be tougher!


Failure does not define who you are. The world and its men can call you such, but believe me, it is not your identity.

Just dream on, be reckless, try on new things, do things that will make other people stop and think that you are actually, certifiably insane! Love with all you've got, don't hold back. It can probably cost you a lot, but who cares? Fail everyday! Embrace your frailty and move on. Live a little. Look at the "true" heroes and icons of the world, Vincent Van Gogh for instance, at some point people believed them to be deranged. They could be, but so what?


I follow Buddha's dictum: "The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows." So I choose to tread on and risk, failing and falling, but each time, rising with greater enthusiasm than before. So to life, mankind and the world, bring it on!

TOP 7 KICK ASS Tips To Live By

Have you had days when you wake up and you tell yourself, "Fine, that's just about enough that I have had with being pushed around, feeling like a sorry loser in this cruel and unfair world.  Starting right this minute, I am going to start kicking asses!"?
Well just in case you have had enough and you want to manage your life and start steering back your ship in its proper course, I collected a couple of helpful quotes and tips to acquire that much needed "kick ass" attitude!

• First, "When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." - Kahlil Gibran.

Think about this: the more painful the experience, the stronger you get when you rise above it.  The sorrow actually enriches our life.  
When I look back at those past agonizing days, months; today, I am filled with inspiration when I realise that I no longer am in that sorry place any more. There's this complete feeling of renewal, an overwhelming feeling of triumph that sweeps through my soul.  Yes, I have moved on, and the more painful it was, the sweeter the joy I feel!  

• Second,  "When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of this old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened." - Winston Churchill

Have you come to terms with the fact that most of the things we fear that will happen never really happen?  At most times, the monsters we have created are mainly creatures we concocted in our minds?  I used to think that being a "worrier" made me a better person in terms of ensuring perfection, until I have allowed this irrational compulsion to bog me down with panic and nervous attacks. Hell, I am NOT perfect! Why should I be? The more relaxed I was, the more productive and functional I became. I made myself a victim of my own " worry monsters"!  So I slew them all!

• Third, "Life is really simple, but we insist in making it complicated." - Confucius Quote on the Simplicity of Life

Tell me, when was the last time you wasted precious moments "sweating the small stuff"? The insignificant few that have grown fangs because we allowed these trivial things to affect us. Our minds, great or small, love to think. It loves to make the rather plain and simple, oddly more and more complex we end up totally immobilized.  If we can cut up that huge baloney sandwich into bite size pieces, then we can eat it easier. Why should you even attempt to choke yourself by believing that the "devil is in the details"? Sure, but if they say, 'Mind Is Over Matter', if I don't mind, then, it doesn't really matter.  Logical? I would much rather focus on what is important and discard all that is totally useless and meaningless.

• Fourth, "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Anais Nin

This is one of my biggest victories.  I managed to unravel the mystery that the world can be viewed through many different perspectives and frames. I realised that I have initially misconstrued that my view of the world is how the world really is.  And if in the beginning I believed that I was right, I have learned that in someone else's viewpoint, I can be wrong. And with this insight, I have acquired the ability to reflect on what I could have missed, what other's might be seeing, thinking and feeling; and I have chosen to take the path of optimism, openness and flexibility. I have decided to embrace the world and life in all possible diversities, and I steadfastly believe that eventually, there is some point of convergence that can be built on. After all, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. 

• Fifth, "Ever tried.  Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett

I honestly believe that a healthy attitude to embracing the possibility of failure pulls out all the drama and wasted energies dwelling on it. I don't think that the measure of a person's success is gauged by the number of times he never failed, but rather in the number of times he rose above the murk and tried again.

A list of Abraham Lincoln’s Failures:

• Lost job, 1832
• Defeated for legislature, 1832
• Failed in business, 1833
• Elected to legislature, 1834
• Sweetheart (Ann Rutledge) died, 1835
• Had nervous breakdown, 1836
• Defeated for Speaker, 1838
• Defeated for nomination for Congress, 1843
• Elected to Congress, 1846
• Lost renomination, 1848
• Rejected for Land Officer, 1849
• Defeated for Senate, 1854
• Defeated for nomination for Vice-President, 1856
• Again defeated for Senate, 1858
• Elected President, 1860

• Sixth, "Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon." - Winnie the Pooh on Appreciating the Little Things

If you still think that life's greatest moments are defined by your biggest and grand accomplishments, then you are completely missing life.  "Sometimes the smallest things, take up the most room in your heart" as ascribed by Winnie the Pooh, and I am a believer in counting my life's simple blessings. I am sure you can have two minutes in a day to think about the little things you have that you may have completely taken for granted because, they are just there. For instance, food, family, friends, the weather, a home, a pet, clothes, a book, your health, a computer, a Blog.  Little things that are possibly staple in your daily life that you are blessed with. Somewhere, some people would kill to have a just a bit. Be grateful for all these things and take a few minutes to bask in appreciation for your blessings.

• Seventh, "Twenty years from now you will be disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the things you did do.  So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain

Follow your heart. 'Nuff said.