Wake-Up Call

12 March 2011


I do not usually post my personal rants and ramblings on this Blog.  But today is different. Today I am really having black coffee culled straight from the lava of Krakatoa, East of Java.


I seriously just want to know what field of science educates man about immortality?  
What University, Ivy League or otherwise, teaches their studentry that the world revolves around their deflated, infantile egos and the entire universe will suspend gravitational force because some people just have so much shit going in their lives it means so much to all the life forces in the milky way?
Do people really think that if you are of a different race, education, economic status, live in a different continent, drink a different blend of coffee; would make them immune from DEATH? 
Do you really believe that when lava flows from a volcano, or when a tsunami wave that is approximately 1720 feet or 524 meters will pause and ask you if you know the derivation of pi? Or if you are tech-savvy?
Will a natural calamity or disaster, like an earthquake of 8.9 magnitude,  stop in its wake to ask to if you are feeling bright and sunny today because it intends to seriously break your entire state into tiny shards while it tectonically rattles you to depths of distress you have never experienced in your life?
Will death itself not choose you today because you are having a "bad hair" day;  severely PMS-ing; still need to go for your weekly spa treatment; just bought your new PS 3 game and still need to work it out; lost the last tennis game on Wii with a buddy and the rematch is scheduled next week; a book you have been procrastinating on finishing still needs to be read; and unfortunately, the last time you went to the ATM to buy those adorable Louboutin shoes it was freaking off-line and you have been agonizing if some "fugly" woman has bought it instead?
Has humanity completely lost its humane-ness in this mean and cruel world because of our obsession on individuality, our own uniqueness, self-preservation and materialism? 

Death is not the greatest loss in life.

The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.-Norman Cousins

 I woke up today, alive. I woke up with a feeling of dread and a stark realization that my life whilst it means so much to me and my loved ones, is but a minuscule speck in the realm of the overall universe.  I realized with a bitter taste in my mouth, my own mortality, the temporariness of everything around me; my vulnerability and incapacity to look at what I already have in the here and now, my raison d'etre. All my earthly trappings, my pettiness, what I believe are my prized possessions and achievements, my talents, my gifts, all of it, do they make up what I am, and who I am?

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:
If you're alive, it isn't.
-Richard Bach

Ambivalent as it may seem, I woke up today feeling grateful and sad.

FIREFLIES

9 March 2011
(NOTE:  an old poem I made some 3 years back (2008); speaking from my heart, back then.)

Fireflies

Weary, weeping soul,

a starless and cloudless night;

Frightened by shadows,

obscuring the path of light;

Wasted time on foggy myths.

Seeking for meaning,

but the mind is tired and weak.

Dulled by confusion.

 and impaired by digression.

Fractured, lost wishes;

Tomorrows are unforeseen

The heart is fragile. Be still.

Roads are crossed and barred;

Dodging whips of cruel winds

 Luminous flickers,

hanging hopes on a fine thread;

Blinded eyes faithful, trusting.

A kindred firefly,

lends allusion to an end;

Move and tread the course,

of sunrises and sunsets;

Lines that never bend.

SOMETHING DIFFERENT, A FRIENDSHIP AWARD

6 March 2011

It is the season of Awards.  The Grammy, the Golden Globe, the Oscars and if you haven't been online for a week, you still wouldn't miss the proliferation of awards moving around the Blogger's virtual community.

Above the din, however, I received something that is way different (this is not to discount all the other awards).  Jezebel gave me a Friendship Award.  A friendship award requires very simple terms, give it out to a Blog friend that has been helpful to you in some way.  It could have been a word of encouragement, a virtual hug, inspiration on totally "blah"  days, a technical help when you get your cables and wires mixed up, or anything that may have stood out and is seen as an act done by true friends.

Albeit similarly there are rules to abide and a pass-around Award Poster, I have decided to do this my own way (since I think this is a little bit of a personal choice), but I will follow certain steps that I think are attendant to recognizing a friend.

First off, I would like to thank my giver:  

Dear Jezebel - My heartfelt thanks and whilst we may be miles apart, I am absolutely thrilled that our paths have crossed.  Thank you immensely.

Secondly, let me tell you three (3) things about Jezebel.

• Besides being able to play a variety of musical instruments, this lady loves to sing.  Proof is, she is in a band.
• She loves green veggies - broccoli, spinach, peas and can practically survive her entire lifetime feeding only on beef jerky (not bad!) and Taco Bell.
• And she is bisexual.  Now this one is pretty intimate so if you want deets, go talk to her yourself, okay?

Third, pass this off to people you believe touched your life in the Blog Kingdom, and you consider as a true friend.  Give them a poster to show off that you chose them.  

Note:  The original rule says Pass to 7 people, and if you get an award 7 times from 7 people, you have to contact 7ladybugz@gmail.com because you get something special.  So I guess I am not getting that.

I chose to design my own Friendship Award poster and personalize it.  To begin with, since this is my Friendship Award, I want to give them something that will remind them of me.  Now as the rule goes, you may choose to adopt my mechanics or re-invent the whole thing.  This is a free world.  But I would suggest you keep the spirit of friendship moving around.  It  is worth your time.  And if I chose you, may I request my friends to post this poster on your Blog or your Awards Page.

1. Just Me 99 - Just My Stories.  JM99 and I are old souls.  And I truly believe even in previous lifetimes, we have been good friends.
2. Legacy 2000 - I have only been Blogging actively for a little more than a month.  "Legs", I owe you big time for your vote of support for newbies like me.  You helped me through my first week of grappling at edges of strings in the Coffee Shop.  And whilst it may be strange to you, your work inspires me.
3. Capricious Retch - it took me awhile to put together Anthony Geist and you.  Thank you for being one of my first followers.  Thank you for being a friend.
4. Kimberly Marie - You have helped me and a lot more.  You're an angel.  Thank you for always lending out a hand.
5. Biohazard - You suggested I go back to painting and even post my work.  I did. I tuned this passion out of my life for awhile, but now that I am starting again, I have never felt better.  Thank you.
6. DirtyCowGirl - Because you rock.  And had it been another lifetime, you would have been the sister I never had.

Please accept this award because it means a lot to me and I hope it does to you too.

If you feel like passing on the original 7ladybugz Friendship Award design, here it is:

A Stylish Blogger Award? Awww Shucks!

5 March 2011
A Stylish Blogger Award --- woot woot for me!!!

I received two awards from my awesome fellow Bloggers:


Capricious Retch - the same guy who rants and rambles about his past loves, his music and his passion somewhere from the Midwest (Omaha to be specific), but you'll find him here nonetheless:  http://getcurrent.blogspot.com/

And from Jezebel, a true artist, musician, graphic designer, writer among others.  Somewhere in the Boonies of North Carolina, this lady shoots and writes from the hip.  WIth some wee bit of quirkiness that makes all artists endearing, you must check her out:  http://jezebelmoon.blogspot.com/

Not that I want to be short changing you guys, but since I got these Awards for both Blogs I maintain, you will actually see this post twice.  (naughty grin), here where we have some fresh brewed coffee, chit chat and all,  plus here:  http://psychobabblingbasher2.blogspot.com/;  where I rant about things that give me a pain in the arse.


I am extremely grateful for the recognition. 
Here's what needs to be done to keep the award:
1. Thank the person who gave you the award, and link to them.

2. List 7 things about yourself.

3. Pass the award on to 15 newly discovered bloggers that you think deserve it.

4. Contact them, and tell them about the award.


And in keeping up with the tradition of the Academy (snicker, snicker), here are 7 more things about me:

1. I am a very hyperactive kid, having said this, I have broken my left and right elbows, dislocated my left patella (knee cap), fractured both my left and right ankles, fractured my right middle finger and ring finger (volleyball) and all these because I played soccer, volleyball and basketball; and when I am not playing, I was in the Pep Squad (cheer leading).
2. I am an "extravert", (said so in my Myers Briggs Profile) so I tend to talk whilst I think.  Gets me in trouble more often than not.  But I made a career out of listening.
3. Growing up, my parents thought, it would be worthwhile to keep me interested as well in quiet activities, which worked.  I love to read, write and paint and dabble in photography.  I actually took a Certificate Course for this to quiet me down.
4. I do watercolour painting, but have only had one exhibit.  I only have 3 pieces of the 24 original pieces I made.  Unfortunately, I gave it to friends and did not earn a single cent.
5. I am a hybrid, born from a Filipina mother, and an American-Spanish father.
6. I thought I would like to be a Doctor, so I studied B.S. in Biology for my undergraduate.  Thinking that it just takes too long for payback time (and I wanted to be independent), I shifted to Psychology and pursued a Master's Degree in Clinical Counselling Psychology.
7. Despite my education, I spent only 3 years in the actual practice dealing with children with autism.  My heart was too weak for this, so I went to the corporate world to practice Industrial Psychology only to find out, there are more cuckoos in the private multi-national companies and they make good money in spite of their insanity and dysfunction.

I am asked to award 15.  I think otherwise.   (I also love to deviate and non-conform), so I will list the Blogs that I believe deserve this affirmation and recognition:

• Alicia.  My lovely wingman.  A beautiful person who will soon be a novelist.  Yay! You will know her more when you check out her life, her experiences @ http://aliciatoday-alicia.blogspot.com/
• The name is Dean, and he is adorably spooky.  You will love his art @ http://weespookeezdesign.blogspot.com/
• Dead-Girl : rocker, poet and digital artist.  Rock on! Dead Wrong Blog @.http://dead-wrong.blogspot.com/
• You want Style, this lady has it.  Xia-xia @ http://girlfriendsarelikeshoes.blogspot.com/
• Rachel.  She's just looking for the "happily ever after" just like the rest of us. @ http://lets-run-away-together.blogspot.com/
• Jessica.  A success story, (weight loss) and who is the author of Forever Miss Vanity; it's all good and it's a little bit of fashion and style @ http://forevermissvanity.blogspot.com/

Alicia, Dean, Dead-Girl, Xia-Xia, Rachel and Jessica, you totally rock and I am honored to give you the Stylish Blogger award.

The Abominable Dreadful Dentist

4 March 2011


Everyone is entitled to a fear.  To some, possibly "fears".
I grew up with Dental Phobia.  Sue me.  I should have outgrown this.  But unlike my other phobias, nothing comes close to my hell in a Dental Office.


I can even smell that fear.  A mix of minty, amalgamated gum base scent.  Yuch!  The mere suggestion of the aroma chills me and makes my heart fibrillate.

It would take tons of persuasion, a national election, massive toothaches, at least 3 overdoses from painkillers and partial incapacity, to drag me back into a dental chair.  I used to call a Dental Office, the original Torture Chamber.  Fine, so I lied, I still call it a Torture Chamber to-date.

A Dentist's Office can go totally art deco and nouveau, even state of the art with colours in lovely purple and lilac tones.  But the principles remain the same.  Its still a world of pain.

Fairly recently, I have this one molar that I have tried to completely ignore for a lifetime, and since it has been a cause of sleepless nights and too much pain, after a thorough consultation with the voices in my head, I relented.  I lost the great deliberation, and armed with courage, I decided I needed this to be looked into, by a professional.  By professional, I mean the "hangman", the death squad itself, a Dentist.  

I could be really unfair with that statement because there are a lot of nice people, good people even, who make their honest living in the practice of Dentistry and Orthodontics.  However the minute they put on that "work face" and white coat, I start feeling extremely nauseated, I sweat profusely, I cough uncontrollably, and die a little.  Besides going to a Dentist these days (with or without Insurance) is one hell of an expensive ride.  You are cut down to just 2 choices; to die in the chair or die due to the cost.  I could buy great looking shoes with the amount I pay this lyncher. But it can't be that bad.  After all it's just one nasty molar.

I spoke too soon, after my entire mouth was violated by cold steel metals, drills and detectors, the assassin told me there were several other molars that needed to be attended to.  You see here, when you have your mouth gagged and braced, you don't really have a lot of coherent responses, except but "nod" or "shake" your head.  And to that pesty little molar, the witch actually told me it was worth saving with a tooth cap, but this would require  a "root canal".

I don't know about you, but I went into a stupor.  An eff-ing root canal???  I have never had one and I never imagined I needed to go through one in this lifetime; plus, I have heard of all the horrors and drudgery associated with it.  Needless to say, when you're catatonic, the Dentist can pretty much abuse you, not that I didn't feel I was already being abused, but I can go to the extreme of feeling that I was being sexually assaulted.

I would like to believe I am a good person, so I will spare you the gory details of my execution. In a nutshell, my meeting with the hang-woman (I have a female dentist who looks every inch like the wicked Witch from the West with more excess pounds and wrinkles); went from one innocent consultation visit to 11 more.  12 agonizing, excruciating, tormenting and unbearable dental appointments.

On the 12th day, (no, it did not look like Christmas morning at all) the witch-Dentist told me I need to be back 3 months after to have a dental check-up.  She did not realize she was talking to a shell.  My soul had long left my body from the second visit onwards.  By then, I had already acquired an auditory impairment along with losing the rest of my sensory faculties.

I could be all grown up and rationalize where my dental phobia started.  As a matter of fact, I still remember that gloomy dark past of my life.  Except that I have buried this way too deep into the recesses of my core, that to discuss this now, will release all the ghosts and skeletons I have long kept in that room.

I resolved never to see that executioner again.  I took an oath to floss regularly; to use every product developed by dental care experts to remove plaque or whatever else there is that needs to be removed, and swore, on my grandmother's tomb, that I will keep my teeth healthy and white.  Oh sure, if I need to, I still have to go through the dental check up anyway.  I just need to find a less wicked gun-man or gun-lady, and once my basic faculties are back, I can gather enough grit to go through a torture chamber again. 

Oh by the way, I am sorry to burst your bubble.  But there are no tooth fairies.  It's only a myth.  A lousy one at that.  There are real tooth witches and warlocks.  Fairies?  Phooey!