Sunday, July 31, 2011


I recently received from a colleague friend a very interesting Training Curriculum, designed specifically to address Special Needs of Men and Women. When I browsed through the list, I can't help but recognize how insanely spot on are the Topics and Offerings.  The Battle of the Sexes rages on in the education milieu, 21st century version.  Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

Let me lay down a fair playing field,  the Classes for the "better man" first, then Classes for Men.
Topic 1. Silence, the Final Frontier:  Where No Woman Has Gone Before (Seriously?)
Topic 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits (Withdrawals are easier)
Topic 3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits (Simply Rubbish!)
Topic 4. Bathroom Etiquette: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too (quite Interesting topic, very new concept)
Topic 5. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First (My core competence)
Topic 6. Communication Skills II: Getting What you Want Without Nagging (Really? New methodologies that work, I mean really work?))
Topic 7. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire (I hate this, I race cars!)
Topic 8. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up (Nonsense!)
Topic 9. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have (Won't enrol here)
Topic 10. Oil and Petrol: Your Car Needs Both (I just really play dumb...)

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN. ALL ARE WELCOME! OPEN TO MEN ONLY! (hahahaha ... sorry can't help seeing HOW totally redundant this sounds!)
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of ONLY eight participants per Class.
Topic 1. How To Fill Ice-cube Trays. Step By Step With Slide Presentation. (Should be easy enough, huh?)
Topic 2. Toilet Paper Rolls: Do They Grow On The Holders?  Round-Table Discussion. (Sequence could have been based on increasing level of difficulty, hmmm...)
Topic 3. Differences Between The Laundry Basket And The Floor.  Pictures And Very Simple Explanatory Graphics. (Yeah, I can now see how difficult the topics are)
Topic 4. Learning How To Find Things, Starting With Looking in the Right Place Instead of Turning the House Upside Down While Screaming.  Open Forum. Question and Answer. (this should have a Module 1 and 2 like the Communication for women.  Just sayin'.)
Topic 5. Health Watch: Bringing Her Flowers Is NOT Harmful To Your Health.  Graphics,  Audio Tape with FREE Interactive DVD for your Home Theatre.  (Nice touch on the free DVD)
Topic 6. Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost.  Real-Life Testimonials. Prominent Sports Personalities have been Invited as Guest Speakers. (they found Speakers for Testimonials???)
Topic 7. Is it Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly As She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulation.  (Must not miss Course!)
Topic 8. Learning To Live: Basic Differences Between Mother And Wife.  Online class and Role Playing. Self-Assessment Survey at End of Topic. (Love the Role Playing method...)
Topic 9. How To Be The Ideal Shopping Companion.  Relaxation exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. (Again, this should be designed in 4 Modules instead of just one!)
Topic 10. How To Fight Cerebral Atrophy: Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries, Other Important Dates, Tasks, And Calling When You're Going To Be Late.  Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions.  (My all-time favourite!) 


  1. Love your blog.

    I'm new to blogger, if you'd like to you should check out my blog:

  2. Uhh, maybe I should stick with writing, or doctoring. I'm trained in toilet paper roll stuff, and the laundry basket.
    But like you I can't for the life of me figure out where they got speakers for No. 6.
    A great little post.

  3. LOL, too funny. I love the hamper floor... Wait there are differences? Foolish talk.

  4. this was great ... does this mean there's hope for men?

  5. Hello Ashley Ann, thanks and I will check you Blog.
    Trickie, I know right?
    Drachma, you have been trained well. My respect and love for Mrs. Drachma.
    Jamie, yes sweetie. The trash bin is not a basketball net either. hahaha
    Ash, hey, nice seeing you're back!
    Big A, it's worth another swing at it I guess, but I doubt if they can scale or measure the impact and effect after the Classes. No harm in trying though. hehe

  6. Next you're going to tell me, that I should put the toilet seat down. Rubbish. And that reminds me, like it would kill her to take out the trash; it's overflowing. I did it last month.

  7. --This was Fab :)
    Men NEED lots of classes !! xx

  8. hahahahaaaa.
    would you be a doll, and send me the address, so i can put a couple of sign-up forms in the mail.
    i never knew gross generalizations would be so spot-on!

    v- "don't make me get up and find the spatula for you. it's in the silverware drawer. jesus christ, do i have to find everything?!?!?! gggrrrrrrr."
    j- "i swear to god; god, i tell you, that it's not here."
    v- "mummble mummble i sewar to god too. mummble mummble" stomp stomp stomp. slam. "do you mean THIS spatula, next to the spoons- in the silverware drawer?!?!?"
    j- thanks babe.
    v- mummble mummble mummble. "love you too"

  9. Definitely agree some of the men classes should be divided in multiple sessions!!
    Great laugh! Precious post!

  10. I think I could benefit from 3, 4 and 6 myself. Great post and blog!

  11. So where do I enroll my husband? Although, added to # 4, a class in 'how to place something in its correct place to start with' would've been perfect.

    Of course, I won't need to enroll in the female classes. My hubby thinks I am perfect jsut as I am <3

  12. I need 7 and 10. Where do I sign up? I hope University of Get a Clue has online courses.


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