Veni. Vidi. Latri. (I came. I saw. I rant.)

Whilst I prefer to argue that as an individual, I have an extremely high tolerance for quirks, deviations, atrocities including what would normally be considered, criminal; certainly I do have my own share of totally 'bad hair' moments.
There are just days that you wake up from a horrifying nightmare that you are surrounded by evil, sinister creatures that are about to get you, then realise, in your actual waking hours, that there ARE evil, sinister creatures about to get you!

Much has been written about families, but amongst these, here is my favourite quote from someone who ironically chose to remain nameless:

"Families are like fudge - mostly sweet, with a few nuts."

Or said another way, "You can pick your friends.  You can pick your nose.  But you can't pick your family and your friend's nose."


Now that's awfully displaced, but like I said, the nuts in the bloodline are given albeit some are acquired by affinity. However I try my best to ignore their very existence, there are just times they crawl under my skin!


I have my fair share of the hypochondriacs in the family. 
Geesh, enough already! If you're really dying because of all the complicated diseases that semi-paralysed you, can't you just be sick quietly and gracefully? I enjoy spicing my meals with Red Wine but not with graphic descriptions of what the freakin' endoscopy found in your gut! I don't understand why every family 'get-to' needs to be ruined by the latest "lump" you found in your armpits!

I hate to mention them on this post because they love being talked about. This creepy family member is so self-absorbed they incessantly babble about their "own realities" that no body really cares about. What really gets me, are the 1-2 other family members who actually pretend to listen to your stupid stories. They don't really care, you know, and they are bored out of their wits but chose to listen to you than watch the DVD re-run in the Family Room and too damn lazy to help out in the kitchen. You are NOT the centre of the universe! Not yesterday nor today or ever!

Oh did you know that the most primitive of all defence mechanisms is denial? 
If you don't have the gall to admit to your own family you had something fixed, why have it fixed?
C'mon, admit it! You had botox injections! How else do you explain those displaced bulges and your sudden incapability to show expressions such as fear, joy, sadness, amongst others? Why do you have a permanent 'overwhelmed' look? Or is that a smile or a grimace? Okay if nobody else will tell you, I will. One word my dear Aunt, FAIL!

And to that breed of young humans sitting in the corner chewing a blade to get some attention, Yes you, I am talking to you. Why do you see anybody else in the shadows behind you? Snap out of it or I will shoot you myself! And get a haircut.

I have a couple of good reasons why I often shun family reunions. I do have a wonderful family I love. But it's a shameful dishonesty to say I love them all. Except they are just there. Sometimes funny. Other times, interesting. Often, just a nightmare.

"THE MAN WHO CAN'T BE MOVED" - A Tribute to Steve Jobs

Unwanted at birth, unfazed by life and undaunted in death. 

Steve Jobs, 1955-2011. 

I want to make a tribute post to this man, who made the "dash" between his birth and death absolutely significant by making a global difference impacting our lives in this generation.

Much has been said and attributed to 'the man' who gave the world

and

but if any of you failed to read up on his Commencement Speech at Stanford University, 12 June 2005, here is the link and I seriously recommend you check it out.

"You've Got To Find What You Love"

I am saddened by the passing of this creative genius of a man, but he has given the world more than we asked for and he has suffered enough pain, physically, we should really allow him a long vacation. His life story is inspiring to say the least. Wherever you are Mr. Jobs, I trust we will know about it digitally. "Shalom." 

Today is an iSad day.
"Stay hungry. Stay foolish." - S.Jobs, 2005

Introducing: INTERNET PERSONALITY DISORDERS

I reckon it's about time we hold the bull by the horns.  Given the power and influence of technology, the Internet has become a whole new dimension of humanity's reality. 
Having said that, it was only a matter of time that this "environment" and landscape predisposed Personality Disorders that require careful study and understanding.
I have decided to blaze the trail in this field and my own virtual experiences has given me a fairly good grasp of disorders only known to the Internet mankind. 


Now let us take a careful look at a few that I have encountered and painstakingly analysed:


NUMBER 1: THE INTERNET NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER


Causes:

• Too much Internet time, so little friends; no "real"friends 
• Too much angst, lack of or absence of "real life"; 
• The 3 C's (Constantly, Consistently Constipated)
• Who actually cares?

Symptoms:

• Too much Blog whoring
• Reacts to criticism with rage, shame and humiliation (all emotional rants said in one sentence; for some others, a whole Blog Post)
• Excessive feelings of importance (manages multiple Blogs via multiple hosts; one of which is likely a Blog about him/herself with huge photos of self and About Me videos,; multiple accounts in Facebook, Twitter, tumblr, flickr, the whole nine yards)
• Needs constant attention and admiration (begs for Comments and Followers, or just "begs")
• Believes empathy is a matter of speech deflection or a "regional accent"
• Argues with self; loses argument with self, denies losing the argument

NUMBER 2: THE INTERNET SOCIOPATH PERSONALITY DISORDER


Causes:

• Possibly genetic
• Possibly too much caffeine or alcohol or nicotine or all of the above
• Likely had an abused and unhappy childhood (grew up on Elm Street with Freddy K.)
• Lost a pet in early life, became a proponent of animal cruelty to cope
• Most likely a Taxidermist in real life
• Watched Drew Barrymore's "Firestarter" re-runs more than a dozen times

Symptoms:

• Witty, charming, articulate and exceptional at virtual flattery
• An outstanding "Manipulator"
• Lies about self; Steals others ideas and language even; Fights with anyone who may suspect they are guilty of the first two, often, if not always
• May frequently be angry and arrogant over nothing, including the choice of the best Jelly Beans in the world

NUMBER 3: THE INTERNET HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDER

Causes:

• Likely to occur more frequently with women users of the Internet albeit the men are no exception
• Can be attributed to early childhood trauma; i.e., constant rejection in the School's Speech and Drama Club
• Sexual frustration

Symptoms:

• Sounds perfectly normal and naturally sensual virtually (could likely be butt ugly in real life)
• Often too dramatic and emotional (ordinarily ends sentences with multiple exclamation points!!!!)
• Is a regular blame-putter; blames everything if anything goes wrong, including the Google server
• May appear pretty shallow, but in reality, IS actually very shallow
• Constantly asks for approval, love and acceptance in any form, any language, and in any way
• AKA the Internet Drama Queen or King or Elvis

NUMBER 4: THE INTERNET SCHIZOTYPAL PERSONALITY DISORDER

Causes:

• Unknown

Symptoms:

• Odd beliefs, odd behavior, odd "speak", just plain, ODD
• Completely preoccupied with CONSPIRACY THEORIES
• Collects all Stephen Spielberg and George Lucas' Alien and Sci-Fi movies and/or books
• Feels genuinely upset they are unable to form and sustain Internet-personal relationships
• May likely have been "abducted" by "them" from out "there"

So far, these are the types I have evaluated.  I would post more as I am still deep into researching and "probing" the few others I have seen.

Just remember, it could be you I am talking about. Mwahahahahaha (evil sinister laughter)

FOR MY VERY CLEVER AND SMART FOLLOWERS

Some of you may be aware that I manage two Blogs.  The OTHER BLOG is a collection of my sheer randomness and my lifetime quest for nothing-ness.


My most recent post is a test of Brain Cells (smarts, so to speak).  Can you Think out of the Box?


It's called NAME THAT PICTURE (<Click that link, it takes you to the Quiz Post) Fine, I could post it here but I'm too lazy and I'm too clever.

I am challenging you to try to check it out, wrestle with it and give me your answers.


For those with little kids, it may be wise to have them go at it and pretend it was you who gave the answers.  Lol!


Good luck and may the force be with you always.
"Do or do not, there is no try." - not me but from Yoda Master


AND NOW FOR THE UPDATES ON THE CORRECT ANSWERS.  CHECK THIS OUT:
UPDATED POST WITH ANSWERS

Are You WHAT YOU WEAR In Bed?

I was tickled to post about this when one of the Blogs that I follow, Marie harmony, asked her female followers "What We Regularly Wear At Home?"
And I thought about this subject.  Now listen up, this has no empirical evidence nor do I want to sound like a Cosmo Magazine article save for a few smiles and laughs.  Yet some of it may have a little grain of truth and accuracy, I really don't know.  It's worth a read though, trust me on that.

Well have you ever been to a Pyjama Party?  Did you really come into the party with your actual sleepwear?  Honestly?  Well if you did, let's take a look at what this may tell about you.


Flannel Pyjamas (Pajamas)
You are an open book.  What you see, what you get.  You want to feel cozy and comfortable and you rely on your sensibilities.  No nonsense and no time for games. You don't dress for sexuality, so they say, unless you only wear the top and nothing else.  You may love your partner but excitement is not your thing and you are satisfied with routine.


Silky/Lacy Lingerie
You are likely to be a modern romantic. If you love the silky type, you wear this as a touch of femininity; and you know your partner wants to touch it too.  You take the lead in staging some level of eroticism in your relationships. If you tend towards the lacy type, long, short or mid-length, you really don't dress for comfort but to please your partner. You are trying to obtain a sexual connection with your partner, but he is likely in control, not you. (Well, I don't know about you but lace just makes me itch.  And I totally don't find anything nearly romantic or sensual if I am scratching myself all over.)


Teddy/Cotton Camisole/Tank Top and Shorts

You have to be very confident, playful and comfortable in your own skin to pull this off. If you will be romping around with this on, you completely trust and love how your body looks. (I just love how that sounds because as this is my staple look, it is mainly because I always thought I will grow up to be a boy. And I just honestly never outgrew the "look.") You tend to be the more adventurous type in lifestyle and sexual preferences. You don't really give a rodent's ass if you will have sex in the kitchen with the lights on. You are spontaneous and generally sexually charged. (Hmmm...)


Naked and Raw (Or just nek-ked)
They say, chances are, you are a spirited idealist, a natural leader. Quite innovative, a bit reckless and adapts easily to change. If you sleep in the raw with your partner, it creates the strongest level of intimacy between two people. Even if you are not having sex, there is an absolute erotic and sensual edge into it. Plus the bonus factor that the absence of waistbands and elastic straps will never make you look fatter. (Hey that makes a lot of sense!)